Loneliness: The Other Pandemic
In 2017, former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called loneliness a “health epidemic” citing a Harvard study associating social isolation, estimated to shorten a person’s life by 15 years; the equivalent impact of being obese or smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. Subsequent statistics support General Murthy’s statement, while a national survey in early 2021 reported that 36% of Americans feel lonely “frequently” or “almost all the time or all the time” in the four weeks prior, compared with 25% of those reported in the two months prior to the pandemic.
While there’s still a lot of work to be done, world leaders are slowly responding to this, for example, the U.K. appointed the world’s first Minister of Loneliness, Tracey Crouch. in 2017. “For too many people, loneliness is the sad reality of modern life”, proclaimed Minister Crouch, implying a larger, or even endemic presence of loneliness in the world. Other Western countries, Japan and China have examined and addressed similar concerns, with ‘Kodokushi’ even being used as a name for a lonely death by the Japanese.
We may feel some consolation knowing that we are not alone. The Economist declared loneliness “the leprosy of the 21st century”, highlighting that our concern for mental health shouldn’t be to fix it all together but to seek comfort in our mutual understanding of loneliness in order to cope with it and curb the harshest of symptoms. Take the story of Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe; a story we make frequent reference to. Ever found yourself asking a friend “What would you take with you to a desert Island?!”. Perhaps we are so intrigued by the premise of the story because we are comforted by it, learning that even in times of physical solitude, you don’t have to experience feelings of loneliness. We can flip this mindset with the correct tools and mental training!
The Continuum of Alone and Together:
The mental states of loneliness and solitude are in a continuous sequence with the opposing states of affection and togetherness. At one end of the continuum, we have feelings of complete solitude and isolation, while on the other end we have total intimacy and a mutual closeness shared with others. These emotional states sway and interact with each other based on the external circumstances we find ourselves in. A good example would be a couple’s struggle when external factors like financial pressures put a strain on the relationship. Such pressure may force strain on one individual, leading them to spiral into a state of stress and alienate themselves from their partner.
Most of us will never fall to the extreme end of these internal feelings, but this is not to say our subjective feelings are void. Wherever we are on the continuum, at the time of a crisis, at home or at work, alone or with another, during a love affair or a loveless one, this feeling of loneliness is painful.
What Are The Causes of Loneliness?
Loneliness is closely linked to the activities of modern life, our culture, socio-economic and political values, and philosophies. For example, cooperation and community involvement are at the expense of our heightened individualism and intense concern for privacy.
The erosion of the nuclear family has led to the fragmentation of our psyche, affecting both the affiliation to our social networks and work environments. We can feel alone and lonely when conversing in these environments.
The desire to embrace a solo or single life has risen since the 1950s, with some observers hypothesizing that this is due to technical advancements and the advent of telecommunications. Living alone is common in many Western European countries, Brazil, Canada, India, and Australia, however, its emotional effects are severe in the U.S. due to our poor social safety network.
With telecommunications and the media playing a huge role in our daily lives, we’re exposed to stories around separation, divorce, scandal, wide-scale illness, natural disaster, etc., on a much larger scale than ever before. This exposure acts as a constant reminder of those feelings of disappointment, resentment, loss, and grief, even if we aren’t the direct subject of those feelings.
The Paradoxical Effect of Coronavirus:
On the one hand, the pandemic gave us no choice but to bear isolation and separation from others, consequently accentuating our awareness around loneliness. It made us realize the importance of our family and social dynamic, making us reconsider our priorities and how we use our time. In particular, this drew attention to the importance of a work-life balance for a well-rounded, healthy and happy life.
The Impact of Loneliness on Our Overall Health:
Loneliness is a state of profound distress associated with anxiety and other mental health concerns. It can lead to becoming so self-involved that we fall into a downward spiral of driving people away from us, leading to further alienation and greater difficulty in reaching out to others for help.
Chronic loneliness can magnify stress levels, frequent panics, and long depression, often materializing as violence, trauma, and self-destructive behaviors including suicide.
Feelings of loneliness may have a cascading effect on lifestyle habits such as eating more and exercising less, resulting in weight gain, further isolation, and increasing the likelihood of depression or similarly linked medical problems.
It can cause disrupted sleep patterns and fatigue, heavily impacting our mood and general bodily functioning. Severe cases can result in heart disease, strokes, cancer, obesity, diabetes, and more.
How Psychotherapy with Loneliness:
Seeking therapy can help to restore equilibrium on the continuum of loneliness and togetherness, particularly in times of crisis or when these feelings of estrangement are particularly intense.
Therapy can help to discover and restore ties of affection, loyalty, and obligation to others, thus preventing a deeper descent into depression, or the paralyzing emotional and physical side-effects of these conditions.
Footprint New Jersey offers a safe space for one to express their deepest feelings with one of our experienced and professional therapists. In this context, therapy is a lifeline that not only may prevent the spiraling decline that comes with lonely feelings, but can also encourage a launch into recovery and growth for promoting a more complete, satisfactory life.
A therapeutic relationship can help you build on your capacity and skills for dealing with loneliness, which is an essential part of developing or maintaining relationships with others.
Remember you don’t have to go through therapy alone. We’re here to listen and guide you along the healing journey. Contact us today.