IMMIGRATION
THE FAILURE OF MOURNING, EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
Herzel Yerushalmi, PH.D
Shlomit Mona Yerushalmi, LCSW
“In sum, then, we can see that as each new wave of immigration has reached America it has been faced with problems, not only the problems that come with making new homes and learning new jobs, but, more important, the problems of getting along with people of different backgrounds and habits.”
John F. Kennedy, A Nation of Immigrants
Change being the only permanent in the world, immigration is a major change with lasting effects that shake and challenge the fabric of everyday life, our identity and our personality.
The immigrant is an adventurer, carrying within the psyche a mixture of perceptions, feelings and motivations. The immigrant plucks the day in an uplifting state of hope for the realization of dreams and unfulfilled needs. And at the same time, the immigrant carries inside a looming feeling of apprehension and anxiety regarding the unknown.
What certainly awaits the immigrant and of which J.F.K. is acutely aware, is a “culture shock.”
The Emotional and Interpersonal Effects of Immigration Shock:
The immigrant leaves the familiar behind in search of the new, in a new country. It is a critical decision that carries serious consequences beyond the economic and material.
What are the costs that the immigrant endures in terms of mental health and psychological identity?
Immigration Involves Separations and Profound Losses.
They leave behind a country, loved ones, family and/or friends, familiar supportive systems, familiar values and everyday habits and customs.
The challenge the immigrant faces that determines how healthy the emotional adaptation would be is the ability to mourn the losses and the changes.
While for some the change will be less painful because of the ability to process the losses, for others it will be a lengthy and painful experience and may result in psychological complications and symptoms.
Immigration involves Loss of Identity.
To a great degree, our sense of personal identity is determined by the culture and surroundings in which the “I” functions. A profound change in that environment results in profound pressure, stress and anxiety on the self-system.
The necessity of not using the mother tongue alters in subtle ways the immigrant’s ability to instinctively define and identify experiences. As if a musician is required to learn to play a whole new instrument and as soon as possible.
For many, immigration involves the loss, forever or temporarily, of a hard-earned professional identity at risk of being shuffled around in a new environment with unfamiliar codes and regulations.
Stress, anxiety, being overwhelmed, feeling uprooted and dislocated.
Adapting to a new country takes time, there are no shortcuts. Naturally, there are feelings of being vulnerable, feelings of not belonging, being stressed and anxious. Feeling insecure, immigrants questioning if one’s responses to the change of culture are normal.
These powerful emotions may be scary and confusing. Feelings of despair are common.
The Challenge facing the newcomer would be how to Integrate the old and the new, or the new with the old, whereby creating an inspiring individuality and identity. A more or less harmonious mixing of the two worlds.
Psychological and Emotional Effects of Immigration that may Hinder Growth and Healthy Adaptation:
Attitudes towards the new country become more and more realistic with time and the immigrant begins to see the “bad sides” of the new culture. Unresolved conflicts regarding “did I make the right choice” may linger and impede on establishing healthy relationships. External conditions, such as joblessness and money issues may intensify the conflicts resulting in powerful reactions and emotions disrupting the family dynamics and the individual immigrant:
Feelings of loneliness
Disappointment
Anger, hate, aggression
Resentment and bitterness
Psychosomatic symptoms
Sleep problems, nightmares
Resentment and mistrust
Failure to grieve and mourn and its emotional consequences:
The immigrant and the family are overwhelmed and vulnerable. The main concern being surviving the shock and adaptation to the new culture results in pushing aside feelings and emotional needs. There is no energy left to deal with loss and go through the mourning process. The immigrant directs all the resources toward functioning, practicality and rationality.
The result of this failure to process losses is the creation of two parallel internal worlds. One is strongly geared towards the here and now and the challenges of “making it succeed”. The other, which is sometimes concealed, is the creation of a nostalgic world, longing for the world left behind and idealizing it.
Psychotherapists and their contribution “to the nation of immigrants”
The above-described issues not being processed may lead to deep crisis and depression.
The real “melting pot” in fact dwells in our psyche. In the ability of the immigrant working on blending together the two cultures (sometimes three) and creating a stimulating new balance.
In order to do so, as with any psychic growth, we need to face the emotional and psychic pain of separation, from the things, foods, smells, landscapes, people, friends and family throughout our life span and very acutely during immigration to a new culture-world. A mature and healthy adaptation to the new culture requires healthy separation, becoming unstuck from the other country.
A long time may pass without the immigrant even thinking about the displacement or having any memory of its emotional consequences. The necessary grief is being delayed, yet continues to swallow energy working on keeping the unaware immigrant stuck and resulting in symptoms such as anxiety, anger, and depression.
The ability to grieve and mourn is a sign that the immigrant is becoming ready to move on and make history and memories part of a strong personal identity. Psychotherapy may be a powerful tool in this regard.
Psychotherapy can help make the connection between the presenting problems of, for example, anxiety or depression and immigration and gently encourage processing separation issues and current or delayed grief.
Psychotherapy can help couples to deal with the intensified interpersonal conflicts resulting from immigration. Children of immigrants need special attention: they are not the ones who decide to leave and they cannot decide to return at will.
Research indicates that though stressful events accompany the process of immigration for both children and their families, the former are at a higher risk for psychopathology than their parents.
Therapists at Footprint New Jersey are aware that people deal with change in an individual manner affected by childhood experiences and ethnic and religious backgrounds.
Therapists at Footprint New Jersey are aware of cultural perspectives, including the culture in your home country and can help you to create a more satisfying cultural-personal balance for yourself and for your family.
Herzel Yerushalmi, PH.D, LPC Shlomit Mona Yerushalmi, LCSW